so many things, but really nothing.

new blanket on etsy now. here is a picture.

i'm always in love with my blankets because they're so cozy, and andrew always swears he's going to hide them so i can't sell them.... but we both know that if i don't sell it on etsy, i'll find a store around here to sell it to, or consign it, or something. all so i can go buy more yarn and make another one. haha. it's always about the yarn.

today, andrew and i walked up a huge hill, taking turns pushing the stroller with my nanny baby in it, and now my legs are a combination of "OH NO WE ARE ON STRIKE" and "WE HUUUURRRTTT!! give us a stretch. plz."

i just finished watching the bachelor, too, and i wish i could be friends with gia. i bet she has a dorky blog like this one somewhere. i know she's a swimsuit model, but in my mind, she's the sort of girl i would be friends with, like she used to wear glasses and be super dorky, and then somehow, like a miracle, she grew up super pretty and fun.

anyway, that's all. i used to have hair like gia until i cut it off, and now i miss it a little, but i console myself with the thought that my hair is now a wig for a child with cancer, so then i feel a little better. actually, ever since i did that, i now evaluate people by how many inches of hair they could cut off and send to locks of love.

entitlement and groceries.

today it's rainy and cold, and even though i know it's january, i'm still disappointed that the sun isn't shining and i can't wear sandals. this happens every year. as soon as christmas is over, and i've used all my gift cards, i say to myself and to the world, "OKAY, it's time for spring!" and i start hoping that if i want it bad enough, it will come early. like maybe in february. before valentine's day.

of course, it never comes until mid-march, or early april, and i realize that in most places, spring doesn't even both to show up until late april, so i should be grateful for a warm-ish march. i'm usually not. i feel entitled, like all the mountain brook mommies feel entitled to some "me-time" even though technically all of their time is "me-time."

i finished and sold my giant blanket, and now i'm almost finished with it's sister, Giant Blanket #2. I don't have any photos of the new one, but here is a photo of the one i sold.
i was surprised at how quickly it sold. a little sad to see it go, but mostly happy to be able to finance the purchase of more yarn. (my etsty store)

well, that's all. off to the grocery store. (does that seem weird to anyone else or is it just me? i grocery shop now? i must be really old like the crypt keeper. i'm grocery shopping and writing a blog that is primarily focused on knitting. oh. my. THERE IS A FRUIT FLY FLYING AROUND MY HEAD AND IT IS DRIVING ME CRAZY.)

hm. okay. just me.

smallness and cat blogs.

today, i clean sweeped the apartment. in doing so, i thought about relevance and this blog. i think this blog is really non-relevant, so in keeping with my usual tradition of announcing things that are really unnecessary to announce, i came straight here and told you so.

i'm holding myself back, though. i haven't told anyone about this place. it's like a secret place i go, when i want to pretend that i matter on the internet. that's okay.

i've been reading this book by Seth Godin, who writes about business, marketing, and the internet, among other things. he's witty and fun, and i like his book. i like his blog too. by the way. he's the one who told me that my blog is probably a "cat blog" - otherwise known as a blog that no one important reads, and it's really not making a difference to anyone. that's when i realized that i primarily read what he calls "cat blogs" (which is not to say, apparently, that everyone who writes these blogs is a cat woman... just most).

i don't have a cat.

anyway, my point is that i always get just a little irritated when people over-generalize about the little things in life. like my favorite cat blogs. i'm a cat blogger, and if you're reading this, you probably are too. i cleaned my apartment today, and got the mail, and knitted, and these were the highlights of my day. i didn't go viral on the internet, or make a big business deal where i made bazillions of money, and i like that. i'm small, and this is my small life.

here is a picture: (i'm not sure where my need to caption things that don't need a caption comes from)

relevance and old hags

i was thinking today, as i drove home from the mechanic, who is now richer than he was before, about relevance, and the difference between being single and being a couple. in college, there was all this discussion amongst the girls about how the girls with fiances or boyfriends or husbands just can't understand what it's like for a single girl in the world, and how they just aren't relevant to the conversation that's happening between all the single girls.

i think that's a load of crap.

maybe some girls choose not to remember or lend a sympathetic ear to the girls who don't have a man, but that doesn't mean that once you slip that wedding ring on, you just become an old hag, destined to discuss curtain colors and the differences between pampers and huggies with similar old hags who have lost their ability to shave.

(ironically, i'm sitting on my unmade bed, wearing a really non-sexy bathrobe/3 shirts/saggy sweatpants/pompom hat/slippers ensemble, having not shaved for at least a week. so remember: i am that hypocritical girl who thinks she's still relevant, but has all the appearances of having become an old hag already, after a month or so of marriage.)

i was listening to a taylor swift song today, and remembering how it feels to be in love with someone who doesn't even know you exist, and how that feeling is like ... the worst feeling in the world ... but also one of the most precious, because it's just so hopeful and hopeless at the same time, and it's an enigma, and after a while, you never feel it again. so that made me think that i do still know what it's like to be single, and i do know what it's like to be on your own.

i think the worst thing about all this thinking, though, is that i do know it, but i bet my single friends would never believe me, and now i'm out of the club because i'm married. just like i was out of the married club until now. i still identify with the single club more though, because the married people are all about children.... and i don't have children, or even want them at this point.

anyway, i say all this to say that i wish it wasn't about married or single. i've lived on my own, and it is lonely! i remember! but sometimes, even after marriage, even marriage to my best friend, the sort of marriage where i can't think of a single reason why i would want to go back, i'm still lonely sometimes. being married doesn't fix everything. i'm not sure loneliness is even something that can be fixed. the older i get, the more i think that being lonely is just a part of life. like maybe god gave us this feeling of being too alone because he wants us to be motivated to get up and do something. or get up and say a few words to him.

"hey, god. i miss you. i miss everyone. i feel kind of alone, and lost. thanks for andrew and for leah and for my family. i have a good life and i know you've always been right here, providing for me. thanks."

when i didn't do anything.

i'm supposed to be making a birthday card for my mama, whose birthday was yesterday, but instead i'm procrastinating, and thinking about my life, my apartment, my brother, my lunch plans...

my wedding ring has given me the worst rash, and in fact, i think i could probably go without a ring, with the same effect, because of this rash. instead of gold and shiny, i have red and inflamed! BEHOLD, with much hilarity, my wedding ring:

well, i think it's funny anyway.

my yarn pile.

i'm so excited lately, because i have so much yarn. check out my favorite new project:

yes, that is 5 balls of wool-ease and 3 skeins of homespun. and.... THESE:

size 50 knitting needles. i'm trying really hard not to laugh diabolically, because i feel so crazy with all the yarn and these big needles. today, while rocking the baby to sleep, i thought and thought and thought ... about yarn, and what i'm going to make with all the yarn my husband and my parents gave me for christmas. i should always ask for yarn for presents. yarn, or a gift card to a yarn store.

one day soon, i hope i can sell my knitted things for a small profit and think less about keeping my full time job. my heart really is wrapped up in this idea that i could make things and sell them and maybe only have to work outside my home part time.

groundhogs and the big city.

sometimes in the winter, i wish i lived somewhere urban, in the north, where the cold matters because we all walk everywhere and we have a mass transit system that works. here in the birmingham, the buses run empty all the time, wasting money that the county doesn't have, and people whine about how it's so cold even though it's 45 degrees and they're climbing into their land rover, pulling out of their heated garage.

but, i know i don't really want the big city life, in some old city up north. i like trees, and wide open spaces, and beaches, and quiet. and i love summer.

i just get a little jealous when i see all these craft blogs like this. that's not all. there are more. all based in some cooler city like new york, seattle, baltimore, or boston. i think i once saw a craft blog from atlanta. and it's not like i blame them, because here, it's too hot most of the year to sit inside and make things, and also, in case you haven't noticed, birmingham is a really boring city. i've heard people complain about how boring atlanta is and how it sucks, but clearly, they've never experienced all birmingham has to offer. ha ha.

at any rate, here i am, in this little city, minus a craft blog. one day maybe i'll go north and see if i like it. i suspect i'll be the like the curious ground hog, sticking my nose up and out, only to run back to my familiar and warm little home.