a few things

1. we successfully moved into our new apartment. in fact, i feel it was the most successful moving day ever, since my parents and andrew's parents came to help. we ended the festivities with pizza, dragonball Z (on the only channel we can get on our tv, lolz), and a dramatic poetry reading.

2. andrew got promoted at work, and is now a big, bad supervisor. HAHA! that is a happy, triumphant haha, not a "haha i am laughing at you," haha.

3. in one of my less wonderful moments, i poured water all over my computer and then let it sit in a puddle for over an hour, so it broke. obviously. electronic parts don't take to swimming in a pool of my leaky water bottle's making. andrew, being the kind and benevolent husband that he is, bought me a new computer. i'm typing on it. feeling guilty with each keystroke.

4. i'm having a major desire to sit and knit for a few hours, and i have about 20 projects i want to start, but i've been working on 2 blankets for the last month/months and i need to finish them before beginning something new. sigh.

5. a while back, i learned about god's mercy, when i found myself at the end of a conversation, having said only graceful and wise words. shortly after it ended, however, i was filled with RAGE!! god's mercy, while bottomless and bountiful, is apparently only given to me in situations where he knows i can't control myself, and that i absolutely need to. it was really miraculous, and i have been thanking him for it ever since. i think the level of rage that filled me afterward is a testimony to how that conversation could have gone, had god not been there in a miraculous way. since then, i've been asking for self-control and mercy.

the end.

nobody wants to eat, and i promise i own a camera.

1. lady gaga. she goes out of her way to be weird, and i'm not sure i consider it art. however, i still laugh out loud (i still always contemplate just typing "lol" hm) every time i hear "bad romance" because of this. i'm not sure what that says about me. probably that i don't have children yet and haven't reached the point where saying "bad words" is offensive.

2. yesterday, while i was at the grocery store, i was thinking about where i was a year ago, and how much my life has changed. this time last year, i was at college, planning my final art show, frantically developing photos, spending every night in the dark room or the mac lab. i lived with one of my best friends, i worked a few jobs, and i had a whole life in that little town. my teachers all encouraged me to go somewhere with my art - get noticed and become an artist. now that i've had a year to step back and look at art in my life, i realize that enjoy making art for classes, and for gifts, but i really don't enjoy art for its own sake. sometimes i miss making things that speak for themselves to the glory of god, but now i'm thinking that maybe i still do make those things - just on a smaller scale.

maybe not. that's a question: can knitted blankets and scarves be for the glory of god, or are they just a piece of fabric that took way too long to make?

whenever i miss making art, though, i very quickly remember that i don't have the tools anymore, since i left college. the tools are expensive and i'll probably never have them again. so, i'll have to make different art. because it's true, i have to make something.

3. vacuum cleaners. i got a new vacuum cleaner, and i honestly vacuumed our one rug for 10 minutes yesterday, out of sheer joy. it works so well! we're moving to an apartment with carpet, so our previous vacuum that just usually blew dirt around the room was not going to cut it. we got a kenmore canister vacuum - you know, the kind where you have to drag the vacuum around behind you like a disobedient dog on a leash? it's the kind my mom had (and my bff leah's mom) and we kids always hated it and begged for an upright, but looking back, my mother has had 2 vacuums in her entire life, and they've both been these kind. so i decided that i didn't want to buy a new vacuum 2 years from now, so i'd go for the errant dog style one.

4. maybe i'm not a domestic failure.

5. i started making my little clutches to sell on etsy. they're super stylish and fun. i hope they sell.

yeah, i know, i do own a real camera. but let's be honest: i have no real photo editing software, and this is just easier. it's 6 steps faster.

this turned out to be a complete waste of time.

i know i was a photography major in college, and there's never an excuse for using my photobooth camera when i could use my good camera, but sometimes my laziness overwhelms me. this is version 3.0 of my spring baby blanket. it's pretty much my favorite, and i'm starting to wonder if i'll ever knit a different baby blanket.

i tried to write something thoughtful, but right next to me, andrew and laura are having a yelling conversation with sue on the speaker phone, so that turned out to be a failure, and now i can't type anything.

this day just gets more and more ridiculous.

flying fruit and my yarn obsession.

for the last couple of weeks, i've missed all kinds of fun due to a variety of symptoms and sicknesses - as my grandmother used to say in virginia, "you're just so sweet, all the bugs want to bite you!" though i do now question the truth of that statement, it's still a nicer way of looking at things.

so, tonight, when my husband went out and i stayed in, i decided to do some fun things despite being told very sternly TO REST.

first, because i've been craving strawberry shortcake So Much, even though strawberries are so far out of season it's not even funny, and i realize how un-environmental and un-natural and completely un-granola and un-cool and just probably un-responsible it is of me, i bought a box of strawberries. then i (oh, please try to ignore that huge run-on sentence!) came home and made some biscuits and ... I Ate My Strawberry Shortcake. and i liked it a lot. Amanda Soule might judge me for my crime against the natural order of the earth.

i sure am glad i've never cared if someone judged me.

anyway, there's that. i've always aspired to be really natural and laid-back and earth-friendly, though not overly obsessed, and i think there just comes a time when it's okay to accept that airplanes can fly fruit across the world so i can eat it. for a price. haha.

then, i thought it would be a great idea to try for the third time to knit a lace scarf. here's how that's going.let me just restate: this is my third attempt. it's actually a fifth attempt to make a scarf with this yarn. it's like i can't visualize what i want from the yarn, so i keep tearing it out. maybe by the time i settle on something, i can have the WHOLE skein of yarn all tangled up like just half of it is now. that's my goal.

sometimes, i let the yarn and the knitting really get to me. my third giant cable blanket is sitting in the corner all sad like. i should finish it so i can sell it and buy more yarn.

as one final thought: i've been having the worst cracked skin on my fingertips due to a chemical burn 4 months ago (a silver polishing accident) and the constant handwashing involved in my job, plus the cold weather, and i'm just wondering if there is some cream that will actually help heal my finger pads? i've tried just healing lotion for extra dry skin, but i suspect that my problem goes beyond simple extra dry skin, considering that my fingertips occasionally crack open and start bleeding in the cold winter air. i'm laughing now, but as that i type that, it sounds moderately pathetic... and old. I Might Be Old Now.

well, goodnight.

ps. when i try to type the word "obsession", i always try to spell it, "obsessiong" HAHA.

so many things, but really nothing.

new blanket on etsy now. here is a picture.

i'm always in love with my blankets because they're so cozy, and andrew always swears he's going to hide them so i can't sell them.... but we both know that if i don't sell it on etsy, i'll find a store around here to sell it to, or consign it, or something. all so i can go buy more yarn and make another one. haha. it's always about the yarn.

today, andrew and i walked up a huge hill, taking turns pushing the stroller with my nanny baby in it, and now my legs are a combination of "OH NO WE ARE ON STRIKE" and "WE HUUUURRRTTT!! give us a stretch. plz."

i just finished watching the bachelor, too, and i wish i could be friends with gia. i bet she has a dorky blog like this one somewhere. i know she's a swimsuit model, but in my mind, she's the sort of girl i would be friends with, like she used to wear glasses and be super dorky, and then somehow, like a miracle, she grew up super pretty and fun.

anyway, that's all. i used to have hair like gia until i cut it off, and now i miss it a little, but i console myself with the thought that my hair is now a wig for a child with cancer, so then i feel a little better. actually, ever since i did that, i now evaluate people by how many inches of hair they could cut off and send to locks of love.

entitlement and groceries.

today it's rainy and cold, and even though i know it's january, i'm still disappointed that the sun isn't shining and i can't wear sandals. this happens every year. as soon as christmas is over, and i've used all my gift cards, i say to myself and to the world, "OKAY, it's time for spring!" and i start hoping that if i want it bad enough, it will come early. like maybe in february. before valentine's day.

of course, it never comes until mid-march, or early april, and i realize that in most places, spring doesn't even both to show up until late april, so i should be grateful for a warm-ish march. i'm usually not. i feel entitled, like all the mountain brook mommies feel entitled to some "me-time" even though technically all of their time is "me-time."

i finished and sold my giant blanket, and now i'm almost finished with it's sister, Giant Blanket #2. I don't have any photos of the new one, but here is a photo of the one i sold.
i was surprised at how quickly it sold. a little sad to see it go, but mostly happy to be able to finance the purchase of more yarn. (my etsty store)

well, that's all. off to the grocery store. (does that seem weird to anyone else or is it just me? i grocery shop now? i must be really old like the crypt keeper. i'm grocery shopping and writing a blog that is primarily focused on knitting. oh. my. THERE IS A FRUIT FLY FLYING AROUND MY HEAD AND IT IS DRIVING ME CRAZY.)

hm. okay. just me.

smallness and cat blogs.

today, i clean sweeped the apartment. in doing so, i thought about relevance and this blog. i think this blog is really non-relevant, so in keeping with my usual tradition of announcing things that are really unnecessary to announce, i came straight here and told you so.

i'm holding myself back, though. i haven't told anyone about this place. it's like a secret place i go, when i want to pretend that i matter on the internet. that's okay.

i've been reading this book by Seth Godin, who writes about business, marketing, and the internet, among other things. he's witty and fun, and i like his book. i like his blog too. by the way. he's the one who told me that my blog is probably a "cat blog" - otherwise known as a blog that no one important reads, and it's really not making a difference to anyone. that's when i realized that i primarily read what he calls "cat blogs" (which is not to say, apparently, that everyone who writes these blogs is a cat woman... just most).

i don't have a cat.

anyway, my point is that i always get just a little irritated when people over-generalize about the little things in life. like my favorite cat blogs. i'm a cat blogger, and if you're reading this, you probably are too. i cleaned my apartment today, and got the mail, and knitted, and these were the highlights of my day. i didn't go viral on the internet, or make a big business deal where i made bazillions of money, and i like that. i'm small, and this is my small life.

here is a picture: (i'm not sure where my need to caption things that don't need a caption comes from)

when i didn't do anything.

i'm supposed to be making a birthday card for my mama, whose birthday was yesterday, but instead i'm procrastinating, and thinking about my life, my apartment, my brother, my lunch plans...

my wedding ring has given me the worst rash, and in fact, i think i could probably go without a ring, with the same effect, because of this rash. instead of gold and shiny, i have red and inflamed! BEHOLD, with much hilarity, my wedding ring:

well, i think it's funny anyway.

my yarn pile.

i'm so excited lately, because i have so much yarn. check out my favorite new project:

yes, that is 5 balls of wool-ease and 3 skeins of homespun. and.... THESE:

size 50 knitting needles. i'm trying really hard not to laugh diabolically, because i feel so crazy with all the yarn and these big needles. today, while rocking the baby to sleep, i thought and thought and thought ... about yarn, and what i'm going to make with all the yarn my husband and my parents gave me for christmas. i should always ask for yarn for presents. yarn, or a gift card to a yarn store.

one day soon, i hope i can sell my knitted things for a small profit and think less about keeping my full time job. my heart really is wrapped up in this idea that i could make things and sell them and maybe only have to work outside my home part time.

9 to 5

i like my job, it's true. i get to play baby games all day and sit outside watching cars go by.

sometimes, like today, though... i get tired of being stuck here. and when i say 9 to 5, i really mean 7:45 to 5. nothing like a 9.25 hour day to really crush the spirit, you know? i want to make things all the time, but i don't have the energy after my job, when i get home. all i feel like doing it putting on some sweat pants and crawling into bed, like a real mommy.

i think i need to get a grip! she's not my child. this is not my housework, or my cooking. even so, it is my job, and for these 9 and some hours, i can't just be a single girl with a tiny apartment and no laundry to do.

BUT I HAVE SO MANY IDEAS AND I MIGHT POP... if i don't make something soon.

art school, in general, was a waste of time, but it did allow me to make things on a regular basis, and thus avoid going crazy, like THIS.

i can't wait till the wedding's over and we're in the caribbean sliding down a water slide over and over and sleeping all day and walking around when it's quiet at sea, in the middle of the night.

wednesday, a day i could've slept more.

last night, i couldn't sleep very well at all, for two reasons:

1) the people who live above me enjoy dragging large objects across the floor and stomping around like rhinos, especially at 10:30 pm and 1:15 am.
2) i was thinking about how i can knit more often, and what i want to make.

combined, these two reasons meant that every time i calmed my mind down enough to drift off to sleep, the Loud People Upstairs began to frolick about. about the time they quieted down, i would be halfway to being able to quit my day job and make a living by selling my knitted goods. in my mind.

if only i could knit and make things for a living. i know i've said before that i wouldn't like to be my own boss, and i think running a business would be a pain... but i would like to make things all the time, and if i could make even just a little money from doing it, that would make me so happy. i love being a nanny, but there are some very stressful and exhausting parts of my job that sometimes are enough to make me want to give up, if i could. it's not like motherhood - there's no unbreakable bond, and you don't have the final say.

this has been a hard week, but - and as pathetic as this sounds - having some time to knit and just think about things has really helped me get by. don't misunderstand: i do like my job, and it's exactly what i wanted. i'm just really exhausted lately. my mama said something really wise to me yesterday: "lindsay," she said, "just remember that god sent you to this little girl to love her when her parents aren't around, so if you give up, who will love her?" then she said, "but leave your love at work. she's not yours, so just leave your love there."

so here's to everything having a place, and to letting things rest where they land.

it was about pink and black.

yesterday, i thought i lost one of my size 17 pink and black plastic knitting needles. i was almost glad, even though it meant not knitting for a few days, because it gave me an excuse to finally get some of these:


anyway. i later found it, under the back seat of my car. despite all the years these plastic needles have brought me through, i can't find it in my heart to even like them. they're hideous, and guaranteed not to match any project i might be working on. plus, they're plastic. they're really more suitable for the baby to chew on, except that they might teach her that pink and black is a good color combination.

in other news, i'm walking to work tomorrow. sometimes, i really do feel like meg ryan in "you've got mail." if only, right?