Sunday, May 8, 2011

wear a color for your beach photos. NOT WHITE.

we are having a little boy baby sometime in the fall. and well, let's face it... babies cause a few things to happen to couples:

1. two becomes three.
2. paying the doctor begins to seem synonymous with throwing money out the window to no end, because that's just how much it costs. no wonder doctors live in castles and drive fancy cars and employ 30 people just to maintain their yards.
3. in some cases, the wife becomes obsessed with being the perfect wife and mother and homemaker - and also with buying tiny outfits that serve no practical use - and the husband retreats into his work, his golf, or his book, having now been replaced with the baby.

i am hoping to avoid at least the third, having now given up on avoiding the second as well.

in fact, i am not just hoping. i am striving. for many reasons, but mostly these 2: i love my husband and he'll always be my number 1! also, the idea of me ever becoming that woman that is completely defined by her children makes me feel sick. i like to think that i've had practice living my own life, outside of the world of babies and children, since i've been fill-in mommy/that babysitter for a while now. i'm sure, as many have told me - ad nauseam, i might add.... give it a rest! - "it's different when they're your own!" i sort of think that's just something they tell themselves about why they let themselves get that way.

i mean, i'm sure certain things are different. but A) like i don't know that already... i've been keeping children for a while now, and i do know that being a nanny is not the same thing as being a parent. for one: you don't get paid for being a parent, and you certainly don't get paid more for being a good one. and B) although being a parent will change things for me, i don't expect it will change my firm determination not to let the baby dominate my every move. i am the parent. i am in charge. i love my husband more than i love my baby. and no, i don't believe that's wrong. (well, unless he starts beating me.... then i love my baby more. but yeah, that's not gonna happen. he made me a cake today. just because he loves me.)

in conclusion: although i do get really excited over how CVS recently paid me 75 cents to buy toothpaste, i am not currently, and will not ever be that mom wearing a tennis skirt or posing on a beach with my family, who are all wearing white - which, by the way, is a terrible idea... white does not show up against white sand. WEAR A COLOR - because i think that's lame and i have better things to do. like wash my socks so i can wear them with my crocs. yeah that rhymes.