sometimes paralyzed.

two things i've thought about today:

1. all the lyrics to taylor swift's new songs. my obsession is approaching teen fan girl level.
2. making one of imaginary lives a reality. in case you aren't a member of my family (HAH! like people other than my mom read this..) and haven't heard, i have a number of alternate lives i'd like to live one day, if i ever stopped liking this life i have. it's such a hard decision because i really do like my current life, but i would also like to try out some other things, just for fun. for instance:
- living in a big city, with public transportation, in the center of it all. like nyc or portland oregon or seattle or even just atlanta. right in the city. having a job i could walk/ride a train to. of course, andrew hates cities.. so this is unlikely.
- living on a farm. andrew loves farms. this is possible, later in life, i believe.
- changing careers. maybe an esthetician (person who does skin care/facials, etc). maybe some other medical technologist. maybe one day i could own my own yarn shop. if i ever stopped living in a stupid place where people don't go to yarn shops.

i have a lot of aspirations, but i'm really often paralyzed by the realities of real life. bills, my husband's career, planning for the future of babies and a house and settling down. i've done the art school thing, so i know that being a professional artist is not my thing. but what about alllll these other options? i'm thinking i should at least try a few of them before i'm older and have children and serious things to think about it. a life of regret is not what i want. i don't want to be 50 and wishing i had tried a few more things when i was younger.

so here i go. to carpool to pick up my faux children. HAHA. i'm laughing at my own ironic situation.

MY FAVORITE!

first: I LOVE FALL. reasons:

1. fall air! the most crisp of all the airs!
2. call clothing! the most carefree of all the clothings! layers! if the first layer looks odd, just throw on a jacket and a scarf and looking instantly better!
3. KNITTING! fall knitting is the best, because at last, i am knitting something i might use the instant it is finished. hats! scarves! shawls! a blanket! HAHA!
4. many, many, many cups of tea.

you might notice i'm using lots of exclamation points. it's because i love fall. also, i'm trying to look on the bright side.

for the last .... 4 weeks, i've had the worst cold/flu/sinuswhatever and i've hated it! it's trying to ruin my fall season! today, though, i'm going to the doctor and he will give me some medicine and also a slap to the back of the head for not going to him sooner. whenever i get sick, i feel it is a competition between me and the sickness, and if i go to the doctor, i am admitting defeat. i hate to admit defeat, even to one-celled viral/bacterial organisms living inside my body. (or are they 2 or 3 cells? i have no idea how many cells. step one to becoming a better fighter in this competition... know my enemy. HM.)

anyway, we are coming up on november, which is my favorite month of the year for these reasons:

1. FALL!
2. perfect hair month! the one month in the year that my hair behaves exceptionally well.
3. my birthday! on a wednesday this year. excited for next year when it's on a thursday, because thursday is a great day of the week. actually, wednesday is okay too, but i like thursday better.
4. and now, most recently, our wedding anniversary! we have no extravagant plans.. in fact, no plans at all. we'll probably eat a nice dinner somewhere, and then come home. we are the life of the party, y'all!
5. THANKSGIVING, my favorite holiday! i love thanksgiving! it is the least commercialized of all the holidays, and it exists as a day to simply give thanks for all we have. i love that. there are no expectations placed on anyone on thanksgiving, except being thankful for our families, our homes, and all the blessings we have. in fact, this year, since my brother's move our to portland, we aren't even really having a big dinner. my parents are coming here and we're all going to eat chinese, haha! and then pumpkin pie, because i couldn't imagine a thanksgiving without pumpkin pie.

anyway, i've got laundry to do and a doctor's appointment to go to. i just wanted to write something here because anna inspired me.

.....and one week later, it is WINTER.

HMPH.