sometimes paralyzed.

two things i've thought about today:

1. all the lyrics to taylor swift's new songs. my obsession is approaching teen fan girl level.
2. making one of imaginary lives a reality. in case you aren't a member of my family (HAH! like people other than my mom read this..) and haven't heard, i have a number of alternate lives i'd like to live one day, if i ever stopped liking this life i have. it's such a hard decision because i really do like my current life, but i would also like to try out some other things, just for fun. for instance:
- living in a big city, with public transportation, in the center of it all. like nyc or portland oregon or seattle or even just atlanta. right in the city. having a job i could walk/ride a train to. of course, andrew hates cities.. so this is unlikely.
- living on a farm. andrew loves farms. this is possible, later in life, i believe.
- changing careers. maybe an esthetician (person who does skin care/facials, etc). maybe some other medical technologist. maybe one day i could own my own yarn shop. if i ever stopped living in a stupid place where people don't go to yarn shops.

i have a lot of aspirations, but i'm really often paralyzed by the realities of real life. bills, my husband's career, planning for the future of babies and a house and settling down. i've done the art school thing, so i know that being a professional artist is not my thing. but what about alllll these other options? i'm thinking i should at least try a few of them before i'm older and have children and serious things to think about it. a life of regret is not what i want. i don't want to be 50 and wishing i had tried a few more things when i was younger.

so here i go. to carpool to pick up my faux children. HAHA. i'm laughing at my own ironic situation.