out of desperation and an attempt to enjoy some water in this oppressive heat, andrew and i went to the creek and walked around. we would've gone to the swimming pool, but it's closed. again. i think our apartment's swimming pool has been open a total of 3 weeks this summer. but, what can i say, our apartment complex got a review of 17% satisfaction on apartmentratings.com. that is astoundingly bad. anyway, i still like it here, despite all the complaining others do, and the fact that i didn't have doorknobs or kitchen drawers for about 2 months after we moved in. haha! always an adventure.

we had fun in the stream. it was an all out alabama adventure. HA HA! no, really. i liked it.

i went to the beach at panama city with amy and ashley, two of my favorite college friends and it was awesome. drove through the back roads of alabama and saw the sights. wish i had pictures of some of the rich culture here in the great state of alabama, beginning with a sign on the interstate that said:

Go To Church Or
THE DEVIL WILL GET YOU!!

.....and ending with a brewthru in panama city beach. yes, you heard me, a brewthru. that's a drive thru liquor store.

anyway, those were hardly the highlights of the trip, because the beach was so great. but i mostly just did nothing and knitted. the hotel was wonderful, although we did have some jokes about the huge amount of feathers floating in the the pool, in addition to a few empty cans of natural light, the world's most disgusting beer.

so, now i'm home, embattled in a war against energy loss in my apartment. i think i am winning this week, but there's no telling. i've been sewing a lot, with my new-to-me sewing machine, which i got at a yard sale for $5.

yes, it is a singer sewing machine. in perfect working order. just needed some oil and grease. i was really beside myself with glee when i bought it. i'm pretty sure andrew had to hold me down just so i didn't float away on a cloud of my own joy.

well, until another day, when i get around to blogging again. (because, let's face it, blogging isn't a serious hobby of mine.)

better than the real thing.

just realized i tagged "reative energy" in my last post. not sure what that means, but what i meant was "creative energy". i am feeling pretty reative lately though. bet you wish you were as reative as me.

i've been toying with this idea i have of making a blog where i say all the things i think, with not much of a filter as far as content goes, but i think that could quickly spiral out of control as far my learning how not to shove my foot in my throat. in other words, i think i would soon begin to become my online persona that says things with no regard to others feelings, and i think that's bad.

however, i like the idea of having a blog where my identity is obscured and i can say things with no regard to who reads them. which, of course, means that if you wanted to read this new blog i make, you'd have to happen to stumble upon it, because i won't post it here.

but since i'm thinking of leaving you with no return address, i hope you'll console yourselves with THIS. just close your eyes and think about how much better these guys are than the real thing.

maybe i'm going somewhere.

I DID IT.

now, unemployed, i sort of feel like i'm out of control, but i am just so relaxed about it. as mama described it today on the phone, "yeah, lindsay, on paper, you and andrew really look like you're in bad shape, you know, you just quit your high-paying job for nothing and andrew never finished college.... but i know you're just doing what god called you to do, and you're happy, so it's okay."

mama always has a way of saying things that almost comes off like an insult, but i know she really means what she says in the best way. she loves me.

i'm just learning so much right now, like how living comfortably just really doesn't mean shit. in fact, i am so much happier now that i'm drying all our clothes on our porch and thinking of ways to make beans and rice appetizing twice, maybe three times a week. it's amazing how obedience, something i once thought would enslave me to poverty, has set me free!

i was living in such a toxic environment in my work. being a nanny is a wonderful job, but the stress of working for the parents i worked for was just choking my spirit. i miss the baby already, but i know 2 things:

1. god called me out of that season of my life, after many months of begging on my part, and I CAME OUT WHEN HE CALLED!
2. he is a good god and he will take care of the baby better than i ever could.

i've been thinking a lot about what to do with this opportunity god gave me. i've come up with a few goals. number one. vacuum the house once a day. (overkill this is not. the people who lived here before were truly disgusting and the amount of dust is insane) number two. write more. in my journal. on this blog. on pieces of paper i find in my purse. i just want to remember that i am a creative person, and that my spirit was pressed, but I AM NOT CRUSHED!

anyway, the bottom line is that from the surface, my life looks like it is in shambles, but i feel victorious, because god is so so so good to me.

here is a picture from one of the happiest days of my life (i'm sure there are more happiest days to come, which is why i can't say THE HAPPIEST.... man sometimes i get too specific with thingsDARN. but you know, what about when i have babies? don't you think that will be right up there with when i married andrew? or when i get a puppy? HAHA.)